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HIGH SCHOOL CONVERSATIONS THAT MATTER

Conversations with your teen

L1

ASK: What are some of your expectations for your relationships? What are some expectations for yourself?

SHARE: Some expectations you had for relationships in High School, and expectations you have for relationships now.

 

L2

ASK: What is your personality color? What does that mean to you?

SHARE: How you have seen your personality grow over time, and how you’ve witnessed personality differences create challenges for relationships.

ASK: What are some positive behavior patterns you see in your life that you want to carry into the future? What is one negative behavior that you want to leave behind?

SHARE: How your experiences have shaped who you are, and if there is any ‘baggage’ from your past that you have chosen to leave behind in favor of picking up better, more positive baggage to carry forward.

 

L3

ASK: What are the 3 R’s of Maturity? (Responsibility, Respect, Restraint)

SHARE: An experience where you may have not been the most mature, but what you did to become more mature.

ASK: What does it mean to “slide” into a relationship? What happens if you slide?

SHARE: A time when you let others make a decision for you, or slid into a situation where the outcome was outside of your control.

 

L4

ASK: What is the 3-6-9 month rule? (Wait 3-6-9 months before making any big decisions in your new relationship, to give your brain chemicals time to settle)

ASK: What is the difference between love and infatuation?

SHARE: A time where you thought you were in love, but it was really infatuation. Or, a time when you observed a friend or family member make rushed decisions while they were infatuated, instead of waiting to see if it was really love.

 

L5

ASK: What are the different levels of intimacy? (physical, verbal, emotional, social, spiritual, trust/commitment)

SHARE: Your thoughts on what intimacy is.

 

L6

ASK: What is the difference between an STI and an STD? (Nothing- one is sexually transmitted infection, the other is sexually transmitted disease, but they mean the same thing; ‘infection’ just sounds less gross than ‘disease’)

SHARE: Your values on seeking a good match and creating a healthy relationship before rushing into sex.

 

L7

ASK: What are some ways to know a relationship is a healthy relationship? How can you break up if it’s not a good match?

SHARE: Any examples of friends, family, or fictional characters (Disney princesses are good examples) where someone in the relationship compromised where they shouldn’t have, or where they saw it wasn’t a good match.

 

L8

ASK: What are some red flags in a relationship?

SHARE: Any experiences you have had in relationships where you saw red flags. How did you deal with them (if it was your own relationship) or how did you help someone else deal with them (in a friend/relative’s relationship)

 

L9

ASK: What is one of the best methods of communicating complaints? (WWA - What happened, When/Where it happened, how it Affected you).

SHARE: A time where there was a miscommunication that created a bigger problem, and how you solved it.

 

L10

ASK: What is your vision for your future relationships? 

SHARE: How you have seen your relationships change and either grow or end as you have lived your life. 

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