What to do if your partner goes too far?
- by Yazmin Zepeta, Think Twice Educator Flirting is fun - but what are the healthy limits to it, and what do you do when your person crosses the line?
Being able to respond effectively is a skill that promotes healthy boundaries when exchanging thoughts and feelings with others. As you get to know someone, they’re also getting to know how far they can push your limits. To avoid being pushed out of your comfort zone you must be able to be firm, direct, and clear regarding your boundaries. You start with learning about who you are and by making a plan for your future.
A healthy relationship includes two people who are willing to support each other and grow together, develop a friendship that deepens in time and share a life-long history together. A healthy relationship is not only made out of sparkles and unicorns, but it includes healthy boundaries and respect for each other. It includes trust built in time (not naive trust, but trust based on shared experiences).
Here are some phrases you could use if you find yourself in a relationship in which your partner becomes pushy or demanding. Practice them out loud or practice with a friend to give them power.
“You’re making me feel uncomfortable.”
“It’s not a good idea for me.”
“Thanks, but no.”
The best way to avoid uncomfortable situations is to be prepared for an uncomfortable situation. The beginning of any relationship, when you feel each other out and try to see how healthy your relationship is and how respectful you two are towards each other, car be the most challenging time of the relationship. You don’t want to be in a place of regret when you realize you could have moved differently when something didn’t feel right. Steer clear of this by intentionally keeping in mind what your limits are and how you’ll respond if they become tampered with. Practice these phrases out loud and the right words will come out when needed!
Being able to express your power is key. The more you practice your power, the stronger your power will get. You are in charge of your life. Don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise. It is important to have boundaries to protect yourself from the imbalances that create unhealthy relationships. Stay ahead of the flirting game by not leaving your brain out of the relationship! Most importantly, don't become sexually active in a relationship you don't feel 100% respected. Teen sex is not a new normality; HEALTHY sex is the new normality. Healthy sex means sex when two people love, trust and confide in each other, when both of them are old enough to make life-altering decisions and old enough to deal with the consequences of becoming sexually active. Don't leave your brain out!