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What is Self-Control?


Self-control is probably the most beneficial skill anyone can practice. It is the ability to do whatever you want even when you don’t want to do it. Self-control comes with strong will power. It means you’re able to restrain yourself from temporary cravings.

I find self-control to be a struggle for me. Some mornings are so hard to wake up, I find myself pushing the snooze button for two hours. The night before I’ll be like “Tomorrow I am waking up at 5am.” Then comes the next morning and I feel so cozy and warm tangled in my pillows and blankets that I don’t get up like how I originally planned. At the moment it feels super satisfying to shut off my alarm (so I do it multiple times) but then when I finally have to wake up I am filled with regret because I have to rush my morning routine. I hate feeling that way so I try my best to do things that prevent that. I have to choose to put my phone down at night, even when I want to catch up on social media. I have to choose to go to bed early, even though I feel like I have things to do. And lastly, I have to choose to put my alarm as far away as possible to help me get up in the morning. It works. Self-control is a practice, the more you practice it the better you will be at it.


Self control is the ability to to control your emotions and desires. Self control is something that is easier for some people because at young ages there are taught by their parents how to address their emotions and process what they are feeling in order to keep their emotions and responses in check. Self control is a sign of maturity because it means that you understand what is helpful and unhelpful in relationships, you know how to name and address emotions and create conversation not just scream and run away. An example of self control is knowing limits of our own self and when to stop or start something because it is the right thing to do. This could be monitoring food consumption, knowing that just because you want to eat all the Doritos doesn’t mean you should or it could be knowing that certain music or TV shows aren’t good to watch because it makes you angry or sucks up too much of your time. Self control can also be a strong characteristic to have in relationships because it helps us to measure our response and our words rather than just blurting out thoughts or things that might be hurtful or lead to a fight that isn’t necessary. Self control is not creating rules that are impossible to follow for yourself or even beating yourself up mentally when you make a mistake but rather recognizing when you made a mistake and adjusting your response or behavior to show that you are growing and learning. A personal example of self control in my life has been taking social media apps off my phone. I was noticing I was on social media too much and not being as present so I took them off my phone. I didn’t delete accounts so I can still use them but it is not as easy and is much more intentional for me now.


Many of your problems, and mine, are caused by our lack of self-control. Why can't I lose weight? Why can't I keep my house clean? Why can't I achieve more? Etc. People will try ANYTHING in order to have self-control. If you are going to change, and become more disciplined, you have to "Believe You Can Change." Learning self-control in the little things will help you prepare for the bigger battles. Remember habits are learned behaviors that become a powerful force in our lives, whether for better or for worse. Self-control is the ability that allows us to control ourselves, our emotions and not that they control us, giving us the possibility to choose what we want to feel at every moment of our life.

Self-control is the secret to success in our life and it gives us a sense of confidence and security. Self-control and self-discipline are key factors for success in your life. It is not very likely that without self-control, you will achieve anything of true value in your life. Coaches say, "No gain, no pain." And they are right! To get 100% performance, in whatever you do, you must have self-control. Remember you are capable of doing anything, just believe in yourself.


Man, self-control can be hard. Self-control is eating only one slice of cake when you really could eat the entire thing in one sitting. Would it taste yummy? Duh. Would it be a good idea though? Definitely not. Odds are you will be super full and maybe even a little sick after. You might even regret it after the fact. We can think about self-control in terms of reward earning, you could say yes now to something and get a reward right away, or, you can delay until a later time and receive greater rewards. Huh? Think about this. You have a huge paper due on Friday that is worth half of your grade. You know that if you fail it, you will likely not pass the class. Netflix just released a new show that you are just dying to watch, you must watch it now! You can either choose to ignore the paper and binge watch that show leaving you little time to work on the paper and risk flunking. Or, you can work on the paper right away, finish it, and then be able to watch the show PLUS passing your class. The choice is always yours, but take time to think about the costs.

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