What are Boundaries?

Yazmin- Are you in control of your life? If so, you probably have good boundaries in place. Boundaries are limits you choose to set for yourself to help keep you in alignment to the things you want out of life. Without boundaries, there would be no direction and with no direction you’d never reach your destination. The firmer your boundaries are, the more clear your path will be. Boundaries are practical for any relationship. For example, I am learning how to have boundaries with my mom. My mom, out of love, really enjoys doing acts of service for me. Sometimes, it can be a little too much. If I'm not mindful, she will over feed me and I'll get a stomach ache. I love her food so much but practicing saying "¡ya es bastante!"or "I've had enough!" when she brings me yet another plate of flautas, is healthy for me and her.

Jordan- Oh man. Boundaries are hard, or at least for me they can be. Boundaries for me look like saying no when asked for another favor over and over again. Or, taking time for myself when I have put all of my energy into someone else for a while.

I struggle with keeping these boundaries in my relationships, even now as an adult but I have learned they are important boundaries to set. I have always been the type of person to just say ‘yes’ to whatever is being asked of me, or to drop everything and go help my friend in need. And while these are great things to do, it actually became very unhealthy for me because it started taking a toll on my mental health because I was always putting everyone else first.

Now, I have learned and am continuing to work on knowing when it is okay to take time for me and not feel bad about telling my friend I just cannot do something for them right then and there.

These boundaries can be hard to set, especially when it involves close loved ones, but trust me, it is important. Know your boundaries, know your limits, and stick to them. You will thank yourself when you can finally do that.

Kala- Boundaries are lines that we draw to help us have healthy relationships and keep ourselves (bodies or emotions) safe and they apply to us and to others.

Boundaries look like speaking to others with respect and expecting to be spoken to with respect, or choosing not to put yourself in harm's way by driving with friends that are drunk or high.

Boundaries do not make excuses for other people but seek to give clear expectations to relationships and to ourselves.

When I was in high school I didn’t go to parties, wasn’t my scene. But I got lonely and all my friends partied, so I gave in one night and went with a guy friend. We went and someone handed me a drink, I didn’t have very much to drink but I had never had alcohol and it really hurt my stomach. My guy friend went and laid me down on a bed but then proceeded to lay next to me and start kissing me. I pretended to gag and be sick and he left me alone. I rested for a bit and then went and asked him to take me home. As we were driving home, I told him I didn’t trust him anymore because he tried to make a move on me and that I wouldn’t be hanging out with him anymore. In this particular situation, I violated my own boundary as well as my guy friend did too. I never went to another high school party and didn’t hang out with that guy friend again.