Only You Are Responsible For Your Own Wellbeing, pt5
By Bryan Brubaker, Think Twice Educator The Sacrifice
The sacrifice will be extracted from you, and you don’t really have much say in that matter. If you make it willingly, you will be rewarded. If you don’t – if you make it begrudgingly or if you try to avoid making it altogether, you will be punished. So what is the sacrifice? Simply put: The Sacrifice is your life, and the way you choose to live it. See, this life – going through what you are going through – is a crucible. A crucible is a container in which metals, like gold, can be melted. The vast majority of the time, when metals are dug from the earth, they are not in pure form – they’re mixed in with bits of other stuff – stuff that makes rocks and dirt and crystals, all kinds of neat stuff, but stuff that doesn’t make metal metal – doesn’t make gold more gold or iron more iron, rather it makes them less of what they are. So once they’ve been mined from the earth and everything that can get washed off has been, the metal ore goes into a crucible. The crucible is made out of very temperature resistant material, which is good, because the heat is about to get kicked waaay up.
Wait, wait, wait, before you start turning up the temperature, what do you mean “I’ll be punished if I make the sacrifice begrudgingly”? First off, if you are doing something begrudgingly, it means you don’t really want to do it – in fact, you probably wouldn’t be doing it, if you had been able to avoid the responsibility somehow. But you couldn’t weasel your way out of it, and now you’re stuck doing it. Like chores. Or looking after your little brother while your mom runs to the store. Or like this: Have you ever been with your girlfriend/boyfriend and they wanted to do something you thought was really lame? Like see some stupid movie that just looks really….stupid. And you really don’t want to go, but you want to make them happy, so you go anyways. But the whole time, you’re grouchy and complaining and grumbling and criticizing the movie and the theatre and the popcorn and the soda and the sticky floor and all the kids – kids! – running around screaming, and you make it so miserable for your date they don’t even want to see the movie anymore – and they certainly didn’t have any fun – and neither did you! The whole time you’ve been upset and trying to make your date upset (because secretly you’re trying to punish them for ‘making’ you go along – even though you chose to go). And no one had any fun, and maybe your date is now thinking about dating other people instead of you. That’s a sacrifice made begrudgingly; and your punishment for it. You made both yourself and your date miserable. Instead of working to enjoy them having a good time, and in the process finding yourself having fun too. Wouldn’t that have been much better?
Or how about this: You’re a player, cuz that’s what’s cool – pickin’ up all the girls & droppin’ ‘em one right after the other. Or playing with the boys’ feelings because you know how to smile that way that just makes them all stupid and bring you expensive presents. And it’s cool, it’s okay, you tell yourself, it’s just hooking up and having fun while you’re waiting for the right one to come along. Then you find the person you actually do want to spend real time with, who’s smart and funny as well as sexy, and you think you’d do anything for them. The problem is you keep finding yourself treating them like trash – just the way you treated all the others you were playing around with. Because while you’re telling yourself you’re just playing around and having fun, your brain is hardwiring those responses and behaviors into you – into your personality. The more hooking up (even without having sex) you do, the more you practice that behavior. The more you practice that behavior, the less able you are to practice other behaviors. So if you are lying to the girls you mess around with, you are going to lie to the girl you really want to keep. And if you use that smile to manipulate the boys you play with, you’ll find yourself doing the same thing to the man you want to stay. These are patterns of behavior and ways of thinking that can be very hard to change. I know. Before I met my wife, I went with a lot of girls, and was sexually active with most of them. I practiced “safe” sex and was pretty proud of that – having condoms – and using them! – shows you’re a guy who is considerate of the girl you’re trying to bang, right? Wrong. Thankfully I didn’t contract any STDs or get anyone pregnant
“Your Freedom, or your life!” (Rage Against The Machine song, 1st album)
“My life for you! My life for you!” (Steven King’s “The Stand” Trashcan Man)