Only You Are Responsible For Your Own Wellbeing - Part 1
- by Bryan Brubaker, Think Twice Educator Let’s get a couple misconceptions out in the open before getting to the meat of the matter.
No one owes you anything. You were brought helpless and screaming into this world, and it is up to you to learn how to make your way in it. How you do so will determine your success or failure. Because no one owes you anything, no one is obligated to look out for you. Because they are not looking out for you, they will lie to you, try to manipulate you, take advantage of you, use you to their own ends, and even hurt you just because they like to hurt other people. If you do not have some direction for your life, or if you are operating without discernment, then it is very easy to fall prey to “friends”, celebrities, social media, etc, which will put you in situations that are damaging to you. Teachers and counsellors often refer to this stuff as peer pressure – someone is pushing you in a certain direction. Have you ever had a huge crush on a cute classmate? One of those crushes that makes you all giddy and tingly inside and you want to tell anyone who will listen how great your cute classmate crush is, but you don’t dare tell anyone? Then one of your “friends” gets you to confide in them, and you spill the beans and share your awesome secret. Then the next day at school, everyone is making fun of you for it – including your cute classmate crush! It’s so devastating, you just want to crawl into the drainpipe outside of school. That’s operating without discernment. Most people are not very trustworthy, so it is important to be able to analyze your relationships to determine how much trust you can safely give the other person in each one.
If you’ve ever been betrayed like that, then you know how very painful it is. That’s why it’s important to be or become a trustworthy person. A trustworthy person is given more opportunities than an untrustworthy person. A trustworthy person is more likely to draw other trustworthy people to themselves, as like draws like. These things work hand in hand, easing the burden of making your way in this world. Being trustworthy means that you are honest. If you tell your friend you’ll Zoom with them this evening, it means you won’t break quarantine with your crush instead – even if your crush is already outside your window. Rather, you’ll Zoom with your friend like you said you would.’
Genuine healthy trust is something that is built over time, like a sunflower. It starts small – just a tiny little greenish shoot with a baby leaflet on it, vulnerable to strong wind and rain and hungry animals looking for a tasty snack. If it is cared for, its leaves grow big and wide, its stem gets thick and strong enough to support all those leaves – even in the wind and rain! – and that huge joyful yellow sunburst of a flower. If you are a trustworthy person, you will bring joy and satisfaction into the relationships you have with others – and you will find those relationships much more fulfilling.
Wait, so how did we get from “No one owes you anything” to “the healthiest option for you is to be a trustworthy person”? The fact is, no one does owe you anything. But when your friends, family, and coworkers can trust you, they will be much quicker to help you when you are in need.