How Healthy Is My Relationship?
Whether you’re in a new relationship, been dating for a year, or possibly considering the next step forward, there’s never a bad time to take a closer look at your dating habits and your partner.
How do you determine whether a relationship is worth your time?
The following questions can help you assess how healthy your relationship is. If you are not currently in a relationship, think through your past dates or partners or consider your own image of what a good relationship looks like.
As you read through this post, ask yourself, “does my current or potential relationship possess these qualities?”
1. Can I be myself when I am around this girl / guy? You should feel completely at ease sharing your beliefs and your thoughts with your partner. A healthy relationship means being yourself without fear of reprimand or censure. Do you change around the person you’re dating? Are you able to be honest about your likes, dislikes, boundaries, faith, and ambitions? Does your boyfriend know and enjoy the real you? It may be tempting to shift who you are to please another, but lasting relationships are built on trust and genuine connection.
2. What do the adults who I trust think about my partner? Infatuation can blind you to potential red flags in a relationship. Surround yourself with the kind of people who will shoot straight with you and won't try to "not hurt you". Hurt is not always bad - as long as it speaks the truth, in love. So what do your parents think about your partner? What do your trusted adults think about your partner? What do your trusted friends say about your partner? Do they view him or her as a person of character, or are you continually defending your relationship? Be open to credible counsel. True friends and mentors will speak with transparency and honesty because they value the trajectory of your life more than hurting your feelings.
3. Does he / she respect my physical boundaries? No means no – regardless of your reputation, what you’ve consented to in the past, or what you wear. Your partner should never make you feel pressured into anything you don’t want or are not ready for.
Does your partner push or protect your boundaries? How do they react when you say no or express discomfort? Love is defined as choosing the highest good for another. Love gives, whereas lust takes. A healthy partner will view himself/herself as a contributor to your life, not merely a consumer of your body.
4. Do we share a physical, mental *AND* emotional connection? If you met at school, you may not have swiped right, but the person’s looks were probably the first thing that caught your eye. At the beginning of a relationship, physical attraction can overcompensate for a lack of mental or emotional connection. When the allure of physical attraction fades - will you still enjoy the companionship of your partner?
Do you share passions, hobbies, or interests? Are you able to engage in stimulating conversation? Do you appreciate their personality as much as their looks or popularity? These are important questions to ask yourself.
5. Do i feel comfortable being single? Some people remain in a romance that is no longer healthy or dive into a new one before they are ready because they feel their worth is connected to a relationship.
Your status is not a measuring rod for your worth, your beauty, desirability, or unique value. You hold significance whether or not you have a date on Friday night.
Ask yourself, “Am I secure in who I am without this relationship?” If you don’t feel that way, it may be time to take a step back and learn how to value yourself and your worth.
Dating with intention requires patience and courage, but it is well worth the investment!
We all long to be pursued, known, and love. These core desires may motivate us to rush into unexamined partnerships or remain in unstable relationships but waiting for someone who deserves our time and emotions is always worth it.
Who and how you date will influence the quality and direction of your life. Allow yourself the time and space to honestly evaluate your current or potential relationship.
You can talk about your relationship and relationship goals with one of our educators, even if we don’t offer presentations in your school. We are here to listen to you and support you and your future. Give us a call or send us a message – always confidential and free of charge.
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