Breakup Tactics 101
You've finally ended that relationship and you're free once more. Now what? How do you move on and get your life back on track? So, you've broken up. The relationship is over. Now what? How does an individual move forward in a healthy way? Separations are never easy, no matter what the circumstances, but there are ways to minimize your suffering.
-- Allow yourself time to recover.
Regardless of how committed you may be to moving forward, you have to allow yourself time to mourn the relationship. Whether you had been the one who left or your partner was, separations happen to be painful. Adjustments must be made and also emotions processed, and this naturally requires time.
Sometimes individuals make the particular mistake of attempting to bury their difficult feelings, but by doing this they are attempting to bypass the healing process as a whole. Of course no one likes to feel miserable. We want to feel better as fast as possible. However, the only effective way to feel better is usually to face your own feelings directly.
Allow yourself to feel hurt, depressed, upset, puzzled, and all the other emotions that often come with separations. When you permit yourself to feel these things now, you're unlikely to have those feelings resurface in the future when you're least expecting it.
-- Create a support network
You've stepped from sharing a daily part of your life with another person to being single again. For lots of people, this is among the hardest of transitions. You may feel alone, but you're really not. Now is the time to get in touch with your close friends and loved ones for support. Call them when you need someone to talk with. Invite some over when you need to laugh, cry, get your thoughts off these issues, get out of the house, vent, and do any other activity you need to do.
-- Get out again
As much as you may need to shut the world out at times, you have to get out of the house and be social too. Get out with family, some of your close friends along with others from your dependable support network.
In the event you really do not have such a circle, then this is the time to work on acquiring one.
Get involved in some new hobbies or activities and also meet some new people. Instead of thinking about the separation as a complete loss, try looking at it from a different angle. You have the opportunity at this point to dedicate time to other things, making new friends, acquiring new knowledge, developing new interests and focusing on yourself.
-- Change things all around you
You're starting a new chapter in your life, and a great way to remind yourself of this is by rearranging your furniture. Change the positioning of a chair, your bed, a table. Move a picture or create a brand new. Create these types of modifications to your home and things may really feel different in a better, newer way.
-- Give back
You may well be going through a particularly difficult time right now, but why not put things in perspective a little bit, do a bit of volunteer work, or have a go at a charity. It feels great to do things for others, particularly those who are really in need.
Think about what kind of things you could get involved in. If you love animals, you may volunteer at a dog shelter. If you're a person of faith, you can get involved with charity work done by your place of worship. There are a lot of different alternatives, but it's important to choose something that is meaningful to you personally. You will certainly feel great after helping out, AND it will help to put your loss into perspective.
Above all, give yourself time to make the adjustments necessary, time to process your own emotions, and time to heal. No need to be harsh with yourself and you'll find yourself moving forward right into a happier day.